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Use an ace bandage or knitting yarn to tie your penis back against your stomach or underneath your hiney.

If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of - otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

Use the time at the restaurant to find out if your sweetheart is really saved. Make sure she knows the exact day and hour (and preferably the exact minute) she met Jesus.

Although it is a normal and natural blessing from God to have head lice, you should certainly wash your hair before your date if only for the reason to avoid the temptation of putting your arm around the young lady while lifting to scratch your head.

Spend the day before your date with at least 6-hours of solitary prayer in a prayer-closet or a confined area. Ask Jesus to help you control your lust and pray that you will have a nightly emission before the date, thus making it easier for your carnal mind to operate on a level that is strictly spiritual.

Do not masturbate in your prayer-closet unless you are thinking about Jesus.

If you have found such a creature and she is not bobbed of hair, nor wont for excess in make-up or lewd attire, then you must prepare yourself for a first date.

Here are a few tips to get you prepared for your first date.

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